hopeless or hopeful--- I dont knw?!

Now, in these jobless times .... being "hope-less" is better or being "hopeful"... "hope-less" by making attempts to to finding a job and not getting it or being "hopeful" that you will succeed in getting a job one day soon...

left US hoping to find a job in homeland... but homeland doesn't provide me with a job here .... according to Mr. Chankaya ... " Do not inhabit a country where you cannot earn your livelihood, have no friends, or cannot acquire knowledge"... keeping friends and knowledge aside ... which i think i gained enough to "showoff".. livelihood is one factor which prompted me to come back... but if my home-country is also not gonna give me a livelihood according to neeti shastra do i leave this country too and head somewhere else?.. and there too if nuthing works then where should i stop .. (but then if i have the money to travel to so many countries then why not invest in a blue chip company funds and relax??- a random thought)... its soo bloody confusing ... yet so clear ... am i going crazy?... i dont knw !....

have i taken the right decision ..... do i not know ?...

Will I be here or as the written in my "Jatakam" ... i shall stay out .. i dun know .. i dun know even if i believe in all that too ...

But i believe in one thing ... that whatever i go i will excel in it ... and that i am pretty sure about!-- oh why do i knw?

Redcliff!!!

brilliant movie .... outlining almost all the strategies of Sun Tzu .... which makes me wonder ... about the brilliance of human beings ... humans are given such brilliant brains to think and act ...... wow!!... God is simply brilliant !!!

My 1st car crash!!

I was returning from newyork after an interview .... was my first 6hrs continuous drive with no company... was 1 hr away from philly ... was supposed to take the 2nd exit 202 S flemington ...on the circle ... was in the middle lane ... and I had a lady driving a suv in the right lane ... I gave the indicator and was moving trying to move on to the right lane ... the lady in the car beside me was talking on the phone and did not look at the indicator and continued forward on the right lane ... she bumped into me ... I moved back into the middle lane .. and instead of stopping on the middle of the road ( like in India .. whn u have an accident) I continued to move and the lady kept on honking at me ... I wanted to park in a nearest parking lot so that the cops could come and we could sort out the matter in a calmer way instead of blocking the traffic at the circle ....the lady got down near the parking lot and started yelling at me ...saying that I cannot run away like that .. I clarified that I did not want to block the intersection and requested her to call the cops ... cops came she saw the car scratches ( very minor ) on both the cars ... and she told that it was a very minor thing and she sees it happen everyday ... she took down the license numbers of both the drivers... finished the paper work and told that the report would be available for viewing withing 7-10 days .... I came back home exhausted but.....

Old poetry

लहानपण देगा देवा ।
मुंगी साखरेचा रवा ॥१॥

ऐरावत रत्‍न थोर ।
त्यासी अंकुशाचा मार ॥२॥

जया अंगी मोठेपण ।
तया यातना कठीण ॥३॥

तुका म्हणे बरवे जाण ।
व्हावे लहानाहून लहान ॥४॥

महापूरे झाडे जाती ।
तेथे लव्हाळ वाचती ॥५॥

रचना - संत तुकाराम

the girl in the blue!

It is same everyday in ceer 104 ..printers not working.. non-desis working and playing .. desi girls scattered all over the lab and conversing in loudest voices possible about which masala to put into which curry.. which shopping mall has the latest discounts ...and what happened in which desi telly serial..etc etc.. I had no choice but to hear all that as my professor wants me to be in a place where he could find me .. :P... but something was different today .... the smell in ceer was refreshing .. i did not feel "why the %*&# am i here??"...i dint know why until I saw a girl sitting in the corner of the lab.. with curly brown hair .. i could not see her face as she had her back facing me .. I had never seen her before .... somehow she seemed special .. I wanted to know more about her .. I wanted to see her face ... I wanted to hear her voice ... damn it !! .. it had been 1 year since i had such an urge...then her phone rang...her voice was mesmerizing .. she had the most beautiful of the voices....and then she turned her black eyes ..beautiful smile .. good curves .... boy she had it all!!!... ;)

She had to print a document and thank god the printers in ceer 104 were not operational ...being a guy of a very "helpful nature" :D .. I offered to help her out and asked her that i would take her to tolentine computer lab and she could take her prints...

while on way to tolentine I asked her where she was from and how did she like here ... and suddenly the woman stops ....looks at me .. with her beautiful black eyes.... smiles and says the 3 magic words...... " I am married"....and that was the end of my little love story!!!

aaah.....heart broken again ...